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Reality TV needs a makeover.

Most of us seem to be sick of seeing imbeciles try to cook, dance, sing, renovate houses or whatever trade or profession television studio’s try to devalue next.

So I have an idea, or if any of you reading are from a network, a pitch.

I was watching 4 Corners last night, which was a horrid walk down memory lane. The show revisited 4 Indo-Chinese refugees, who were first interviewed for a 4 Corners episode in 1987 after they had settled in Australia. Their stories were horrific to say the least. All had friends and family raped, killed and tortured, often just for someone else’s gratification.

One particular story, was that of Keang Pao, who as a child was forced to witness the unimaginable.

In a child labour camp, Keang witnessed the cruel death of her friend who was killed in front of her, and several other children. Her 13 year old friend, who was tied up, was cut with a bayonet by a soldier. The soldier made 2 cuts in the shape of a V, he then put two fingers into the cuts and tore her skin apart, reached in and pulled her intestines and internal organs out so they hung out onto the floor. The soldier then cut the poor girl loose, and let her walk around in a shocked trance, with her guts trailing behind her, until seven or eight long minutes later, she finally collapsed and died.

Hearing stories like that, it made me wonder how any reasonable person, could refer to these poor people as queue jumpers. Or, for that matter, be anything other than welcoming to people that have suffered so much.

Then it occurred to me, the people that are so opposed to asylum seekers, must live their lives with blinkers on, as the only other option is they are simply just hate filled racists. So the way to these people is education. The best way I figured to educate them, is via the bogans best friend, reality TV.

The show I’m thinking of, is not “Go Back To Where You Came From” only better. I’m thinking more along the lines of Wipe Swap USA, but even more sadistic.

The idea, is you take a family of bogans, and swap them with a family of refugees. I was thinking you could call the show “Refugee Swap”, but I think the Malaysia Solution has that covered, you could call it “Bogan Swap”, but that sounds a little like Friday night at the trailer park, I even thought of “Pathetic Scum Swap” but that just sounds like the Liberal Party re-arranging their front bench….

The plot, is to take a family of five Aussies who hate refugee’s, and dump them in the Congo to fend for themselves. Then take a family of five from a refugee camp in Africa, and put them in the Aussies home, with the Aussies income.

Small cameras could be attached to the Aussie families clothing, we could call them “Bogan Cams”.

Just in case these cameras are broken during a pack rape scenario, or maybe the dismemberment of one of the family members, we could have satellite footage. Or maybe, we could get one of those small drone planes with a camera to fly around behind them.

The idea would be, for the bogan family to try and make it back to Australia alive and in one piece. They will be equipped with nothing, no money, no contacts, nothing but their wits.

Surviving members of the family who actually make it back, will be housed at Villawood Detention Centre, for a couple of years whilst they await processing. Then sent to live in a neighbourhood where people hate them.

That is a reality TV show that I may have an interest in.

My theory is that if enough of the bogans and racists get to experience a sample of a life of pain and fear, maybe they will become enlightened. And if enough bogans watch others like themselves enduring this, they too may see the light.

The bogan family, should not just be a poorly educated family, who are products of their environment. The families chosen should be racist by choice, real scum. People like those involved in Sydney’s Cronulla Riots, or those in Melbourne who were targeting the Indian community with hate crimes.

Obviously, for people like Scott Morrison, there is no hope. However, we shouldn’t give up on the rest, besides, even if they don’t come around, it will still make good TV.

The refugees on the other hand, will get to stay here. But just to give them a challenge, if they can succeed in changing the opinions of one of their racist neighbours, they get to bring over ten of their friends from the camps.

But, of course for those of you who don’t think life and death, heartbreak and redemption, sound interesting enough, I’m sure we can organise one of them to whip up an omelette or something to keep you amused…

Anyway, I won’t be sitting by the phone waiting for a call from a television executive….

As an afterthought, it is important to note, that not all bogans are racist, and certainly not all racists are bogans.

With that in mind we should also utilise middle and upper class racists as well. After all, we all know how much Australian’s like to see a Tall Poppy suffer…

For those of you who missed the 4 Corners episode, here is a link.


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6 thoughts on “The Pitch…

  1. you seem to think all bogans are racists. It’s ironic that you’re talking about racists when you’re rather bigoted yourself. Take your own blinkers off.

  2. Thanks for the feedback Jake, you may want to note though towards the end I actually state “not all bogans are racist”
    Hope this clears that up.

  3. Wixxy, you rock! That made me sit back and think and put myself in “their” shoes, though I have never considered myself a racist, I think too often we don’t realise just how fortunate we really are. Thanks again, I am sharing this. = )

  4. Thanks Janet, I’m glad you liked it, and thanks heaps for sharing.

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