As a nation I fear we are becoming a nation of pessimistic whingers. A bit like what we used to accuse the Poms of being.

I bring this up because of the speculation regarding what will come from the Abbott government’s first budget. This more than any other budget will display for the public the type of government they elected based on the promises made by Abbott during the election campaign, you know, no new taxes, no changes to Medicare and pensions and an improved cost of living, those sorts of things.

There has been a lot of whinging and negative press regarding the National Commission Of Audit, or as I like to call it the Con-Mission Of Fraudit.

While some have understandably chosen to highlight the negative aspects of what is to come, I myself think that this is the “glass half empty” approach.

Today I would like to take a quick look at some of the positive aspects of what is to come and take a “glass half full” approach instead.

Firstly let’s look at the age of retirement which has already been confirmed to be rising to the age of 70.

I must admit I’m uncomfortable with the thought of a 69-year-old nurse with a trembling hand putting a long needle where one was never meant to go as she inserts a catheter into my nether regions, but there are positives.

Firstly, a lot of elderly men could do with the exercise, and what better way than having them digging holes at the side of the road or using a jack hammer, I’m sure it will be great for their health.

For those not in an occupation which requires hard physical labour, it will be fantastic to have their minds stimulated at such a ripe old age.

I look forward to the day that our air traffic controllers have 50 odd years of experience behind them as they guide great granddad down from 10,000 feet as he pilots and lands a fully loaded 747 after a 12 hour flight.

I’m equally optimistic that the 68-year-old electrical engineer who can’t remember where he left his glasses and false teeth will have no trouble remembering that tricky circuitry on the jet engine of the airbus your family will be boarding.

The other wonderful aspect about this is it doesn’t affect me.

Just like Joe Hockey and Billy Idol, I’m from Generation X and as the new retirement age doesn’t kick in until 2035, I can breathe easy.

Besides Generation Y are the generation often accused of being lazy, many will be cheering Abbott and Hockey on for making them work a bit longer at an age when they are least capable.

For those of us that can afford it, can you imagine how much quicker it will be to see a doctor?

No more sitting for hours in the waiting room listening to screaming babies and pensioners gasping for a breath.

Whether the charge to see a doctor ends up at $6, $15 or whatever other figure is being toted around, one thing this means is shorter waiting times.

The struggling families won’t be able to afford to take the sick kids to the doctor, and those elderly who haven’t had a heart attack and dropped dead at work won’t be able to afford it on the pension. Particularly those pensioners who own their own property and have chosen to keep it and live on a reduced pension, rather than sell off their assets and live in a tent or some home/hospice and enjoy the benefits of a full pension so that they too can share the joy of life just below the poverty line.

However there is a downside that Sloppy Joe and Phoney Abbott have forgotten.

I don’t want to sound negative, but the poor struggling Pharmaceutical Industry may suffer quite substantially.

It’s not rocket science, less doctor visits = less prescriptions, less prescriptions = less sales, less sales = less profit.

As the basic rules of the supply and demand principle kicks in this could see the price of prescription medication rise, not that the pharmaceutical companies are known for greed.

Still the inability to afford to be able to see a doctor, and the inability to be able to afford medication even if you do, may just be the stroke of genius that is required to kill off those pesky pensioners whose longevity is draining the precious economy they built.

But there is more positive news to tell also.

Despite recommendations in the Con-Mission Of Fraudit there is no expectation of Abbott scrapping the school chaplaincy programme.

Halle-fucking-lujah.

It is brilliant that Abbott feels that despite a budget “Emergency” as a nation we can still afford the $222 Million to religiously indoctrinate the future generations.

As the Royal Commission into sexual abuse by organisations uncovers horrific abuse of minors from the Catholic Church through to the Salvation Army, it is great to see a Prime Minister who can look past all that and still chuck a couple of hundred million bucks at them because we all know tax-free status isn’t enough for them.

Aren’t we blessed?

For those who are concerned that there may be a cut in spending when it comes to turning back the boats that continue to come despite the media being silenced, fear not, Abbott is not expected to make cuts to defence.

This is only common sense as with the way our relationship with Indonesia is heading we may need some more of those fighter jets Abbott spent up big on.

Tonight we can all sleep soundly on our fluffy pillows safe in the knowledge that our treatment of asylum seekers will be no less harsh after the budget.

We will still remain in the privileged position of being condemned by the United Nations for human rights abuses, and we will still skate close to, but without crossing, the line that would see us guilty of crimes against humanity.

Rest assured though, those who have crossed that line we will continue to support financially.

What’s more, for those who manufacture the orange boats that don’t really exist, the ones that may or may not be used to transport asylum seekers travelling in boats that had supposedly stopped coming, back to Indonesia in extreme discomfort, despite cutbacks I have a feeling your business will boom.

See there are some positive aspects to come from the budget.

I am also pleased to note that one State in particular is pulling its weight in regards to Joe Hockey’s “heavy lifting”.

There are rumours that the Front Bench on the floor of NSW Parliament that the Coalition use may be sold off as second-hand furniture or as a political collector’s piece with the money raised from the sale put back into the economy.

It should fetch a good price as it has some solid history, and it may even be the couch that Premier Mike Baird lost a Billion Dollars down the back of when he was Treasurer.

It seems after Michael Gallacher was forced to resign in disgrace after yet another brutal day in ICAC for the NSW Liberal Party, the front bench itself may be becoming redundant.

The front bench has seen the departure of Greg Pearce, and after revelations from ICAC Chris Hartcher, Michael Gallacher, and even the former Premier Barry O’Farrell. Those are just the front bench scalps and the ICAC hearing is nowhere near finished yet.

The money from the sale of the Coalition front bench may help to put a bit more back into the NSW coffers, because we need it.

After all, our new Premier in his former role as Treasurer managed to achieve a 100% success rate when it came to delivering budget deficits. Despite inheriting a surplus and coming to power after the Global Financial Crisis, Baird has managed to deliver three budget deficits and misplace a Billion Dollars along the way. All this despite a massive sell-off of public assets, after all finance is his area of expertise.

Now thanks to his Parties corruption, we have one more public asset to sell. The Coalition Front Bench.

See folks, the glass really is half full.

Sort of…

 

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