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As NSW parliament is in full swing and important items of legislation are debated and voted on, the good people of the electorate of Wollongong must be thrilled to have a strong voice in parliament.

As 600 or so hard workers at Bluescope Steel face losing their jobs and struggling to feed their families they must be glad to know that their State Member is not resting at all while fighting to save the steel industry.

As the unions and Labor Council negotiate and deal with Bluescope on these workers behalf, they must be pleased to know that the member and the Labor Party, the Party of the worker, is taking the fight to the government in parliament.

If only any of the above were true, but alas these people are unlucky enough to have Noreen Hay representing them when she can be bothered to.

It would be fair to say that Noreen may have a bit on her plate at the moment after Federal Police raided her electoral office on 2nd July 2015. So I guess it is to be expected that Noreen would be working closely with police, or dealing with her legal team on her defence if required, or perhaps keeping her Party abreast of what is going on with the police action.

Apparently not though, instead of dealing with these matters or actually showing up for parliament she has reportedly jetted off to see the sights of the UK for a few weeks. Why not, nothing going on at home… much.

Noreen was having one of her good days….
Image – Fairfax

Not to worry though, Noreen’s backer Jamie Clements is back behind the wheel again like a repeat drink-drive offender after a night on the turps. Clements was the one who backed Noreen all through the pre-selection that had ghost members, fraudulent branch minutes, and long-term members being ejected from the polling booth. The same pre-selection many suspect is the reason for office was raided by the Feds.

Clements also backed Noreen for the position of Opposition Whip, a position she held for almost as long as the running time of the average TV mini-series before being forced to stand down due to the police raid.

In relation to the Federal Police investigation there has been some new information come to light. Information that is rumored to have caused Noreen great anguish.

It appears the source of the leaks against Noreen has now not only come to light, they have taken to social media.

The leaker is not only Noreen’s best friend, but someone Noreen considered to be a part of the family. Someone Noreen has nurtured since infancy. However he has turned against Noreen lately, rumor has it this is due to his disappointment at Noreen’s opposition to marriage equality, as the apparent leaker is openly gay.

The alleged leakers name is Trampus, and he is one of the family dogs that has seemingly finally had enough and turned the dog whistle on his owner.

I tend to think however that it may have more to do with Noreen’s attempts at tricking him into aiding her to destroy documents.

Mummy keeps mixing shredded documents into my doggy bowl and muttering something about the AFP under her breath. #confused

— Trampus Votes (@TrampusVotes) September 8, 2015

There are better ways to put fibre into your dog’s diet than by feeding them shredded documents. I would recommend shredded paper for dogs to sleep on, but not as a regular part of their dietary intake. I would also suggest that when police seize documentation that they may be less inclined towards leniency if it has passed through the bowels of a Great Dane prior to being entered into evidence. Also clearly upsetting Trampus are suggestions he raises on Twitter that perhaps Noreen had been flogging him with the Opposition Whip. Far be it from me to ever think that someone like Noreen would ever abuse the position of Opposition Whip, but abuse is what Trampus appears to be suggesting.

Whenever I’ve been naughty, Mummy pulls out what she calls the ‘opposition whip’ – but I haven’t seen that in a while…. — Trampus Votes (@TrampusVotes) September 7, 2015

There are some that have suggested that Trampus has an ulterior motive for biting the hand that feeds.

There have been unconfirmed reports that Noreen did her interview in Dogs Life magazine so that Trampus could brag about it to his mates, and neighbors have confirmed that he was chatting to dogs in the area each night for a few weeks after publication. Trampus was often heard barking half the night with other dogs blocks away about his new-found fame.

However this fame came at a price, unbeknownst to Trampus, his mummy had been as dumb as dogshit when speaking to the magazine about when her kids moved out of home without changing where they were enrolled to vote. Mummies inadvertent admitting to electoral fraud kind of put a downer on the whole fame thing. According to witnesses who have chosen to remain anonymous the fallout from this led Noreen to lash out towards Trampus rather than face the fact that she had screwed up, as a result Trampus was cast out into the dog-house.

This allegedly led to a huge cat-fight within the family and apparently Trampus has a dislike for cats. This combined with being turfed into the dog-house was seen by Trampus as a real dog-act and as a result many believe he went howling to the Feds.

Noreen has been unavailable for comment given she is so busy looking after her constituents, albeit from a pub on the other side of the globe, however sources have claimed that Noreen had this to say on whoever was leaking.

“Whoever is leaking to the Feds is an absolute dog and needs to be kept on a short leash”

Life doesn’t look like improving for Trampus in the near future.